I am a US Qualified Registered Microbiologist-Medical Technologist, operating my own Clinical Lab. I have been an activist advocating consumer, civic, citizen's rights for Thirty plus years & a Frequent contributor to the letters to Editor.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Idiot's Illiad-Copy right Nisha Nataraj-2008

The Idiot’s Iliad

Erstwhile, the village idiot went on a quest,
To vanquish the evil dragon he sought with all that zest.
Trouble loomed close, aye.
The poor boy knew not how near by.

An approach to the wise man confirmed our fears,
“Idiot!” he yelled, and brought him to tears.
Yes, we knew he would not survive,
A battle with the dragon, even a while!

Erstwhile, heart-broken, refused to give in,
He exclaimed, “I’ll show them! I shall win!”
Armed with a stolen sword,
He set out to prove his given word.

The days that came were long and weary,
And Erstwhile the idiot, hallucinated of many-a-fairy.
But he marched on, stood his ground,
Although, he might have lost his way, and gone round & around.

The time came when he approached the lair,
Yes, the men that ventured here were rare.
“Dragon!” he kind of provoked,
While outside, in fear, the beard he’d grown, he gently stroked.

Now, the idiot knew nothing of swords, or even to fight
The most he’d endured was say, staying up all night.
And as he stood outside, he recalled these things,
Saw that maybe they were right, and suddenly wished to sprout wings.

Too late, he realized, as he heard a rumble,
The dragon, roused, had begun to stumble.
Erstwhile began to quaver,
But reminded himself of his foolish declaration – never to waver!

The dragon finally came out, and saw light,
Annoyed by whatever gave her a fright.
Tall as the sky,
She eventually spotted a puny guy, about to cry.

Confused and perplexed,
She looked at the boy oh-so-vexed,
Most of the men, who came to kill her,
Were surely, a tad bit fuller??

She sat down,
Unsure of this clown,
Who finally opened his eyes to see,
A figure sitting down, the huge monstrosity!

Erstwhile the stupid, but also the brave,
Ventured to speak, lest he be sent to the grave!
“Dragon”, he ventured, “Get set! I’m here to slay you!”
But, that he was ready to pass out, was also true.

He unsheathed his sword, and stood with a determined frown,
While she still wondered why he bore no crown?
He paused, wondered how to carry out the rest,
While she sat there, thinking, “Is this a test?!”

The idiot decided to charge at last,
While the dragon saw, that he wasn’t very fast.
He struck her “hard” on her toe,
And stood there expecting some blood to flow.

But, alas! She didn’t flinch,
Did this idiot expect a lynch?!
The dragon finally had enough of this game,
She spoke, “Boy, tell me your name?”

Erstwhile stood back to see if he heard right,
He regrouped his courage with all his might,
“Erstwhile” he said, “Would you like my age too?”
She blinked, and said “Young man, How do you do?”

Now the idiot was confounded, really puzzled,
How was this dragon not the least bit frazzled??
Here he was, standing to kill her,
And maybe even make roast, and grill her?

But this girl, she seemed hardly worried,
Basking in the sun, her scales lurid?
Was this some kind of sick joke?!
“Oi!” he heard, and into his thoughts she broke.

“Do you mind?!”
“How are you? To reply would only be kind!”
“Al-Alright” He stammered,
Considering, the possibility that he was hammered.

She laughed, and saw he was a simpleton,
That the only chance he had, in a fight, to run.
She smiled, or bared her teeth,
While the idiot thought “I’m dead meat!”

She decided it was best to let him go home,
Rather than bury him in some loam.
“Boy” she said, “I’ll strike you a deal”
“Provided you sit down, and have a meal.”

The idiot, now completely convinced he was a nut,
Chided himself for priding his gut.
He sat down carefully,
Even as The dragon eyed him playfully.

“Go home kid,” she encouraged,
“We’ll have my death staged”
“I’ll pretend to have died”
“And you can claim to have done more than tried!”

She offered him some goat flesh,
She urged, “Do have some, Its Fresh!”
He saw she was careful of her manners,
And suddenly became mindful of his own “grammars”!

The offer he reasoned, was too good to be true,
If he didn’t accept it, he would most definitely rue!
“Okay, Lets do this! I’ll pretend to kill you!”
“Lets find some green stuff , and cover my sword with goo!”

They had a whale of a time,
Bonding over the length of this rhyme,
As they carefully planned and staged her death,
The idiot was overjoyed, and into the air he leapt!

The time came, when he bid her adieu,
“So long” he said “ I hope to sometime see you!”
She returned his greeting,
Happy she had the opportunity of this meeting.

Erstwhile set out, back to the village,
Thrilled about narrating his made-up tales of courage!
And as he finally reached the outskirts,
Realized he looked a warrior – covered in dirt!

The villagers came to receive him, he was now a hero!
They’d no longer compare him to that Indian thing, a zero?
As the idiot swelled up with pride,
The rest of the village were now idiots – for he had lied!!!

Nisha Nataraj
copyright 2008


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